Bella, Post Adoption: 18 Months Later

It has now been 18 months since that fateful day we met our daughter in a hotel conference room in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, China. 

Wow. A year and a half. 

So much has changed since we met our 26-month-old girl that day, who was a shell of a child back then. When she cried, her tears would fall but no sound would escape her lips. She would inconsistently babble mamamama and dadadadada, and that was the extent of her verbalizations. She could stand while holding on to something, but only when placed in that position. She could sit up but struggled to hold her core upright.  Her play consisted of banging toys together or bobbing to music. 

I do believe that she was cared for - that the orphanage workers tried to help the best they could - but she was one of hundreds. One who very likely got very little regular stimulation. One who was virtually alone most of the days, most of the weeks, most of the years. When we met our daughter, she was scared, solemn, and alone. 

Not anymore. 

Now, at 3.5 years old, a look at what our amazing girl can do, 18 months after coming HOME to her family, who absolutely adore her: 

Language. Since my last update six months ago, Bella has continued to make gains in all developmental areas. While language has been the slowest, it is coming along. She continues to receive one hour of speech therapy at home every week with our beloved speech therapist as well as 30 minutes of one-on-one speech therapy at school each week. More and more, Bella has been putting two and three words together (e.g., "Where's Banks?" "More crackers, please." "Dada's car." "Thank you, Momma."). Her oromotor muscles have also gotten stronger! She now drinks out of a big girl cup instead of a sippy or straw cup. 

Bella's receptive language skills are really progressing, too! We are working on following two-step commands and understanding prepositions and concepts like "My" and "Yours." Bella LOVES books and loves nothing more than having people read to her. She also still enjoys playing with puzzles, playing pretend, taking care of babies, coloring, doing flashcards, etc. She has come a LONG way from just banging toys together!

We continue to pray for continued development with her language but are also so proud of how far she's come.

Motor. Bella is just running all over the place these days! Under the care of our amazing private physical therapist, who she continues to see in our home for an hour each week (as well as her twice weekly physical therapy sessions at school!), she is working hard and meeting goals! We are still focusing on strengthening her core and hip muscles, but she is getting stronger. Bella can now squat down to pick things up and her gait is much more typical than it was six months ago - still not quite "normal" but much improved! 

Bella loves to try and "jump" (on the floor - she no longer struggles to get air on a trampoline!) and gallup, and her endurance has improved tremendously! She is also slowly getting closer to be able to walk up the stairs (she can do it no problem with assistance; it's the independent stair-climbing we're working on) and is continuing to work on throwing and kicking balls. Who knows, this girl just may be a super star athlete one day! :)

Bella's fine motor skills are also improving, thanks to her continued, weekly sessions with our much-loved occupational therapist at home as well as the individual occupational therapy she receives at school. Slowly, some of her skills are even starting to resemble those of other 3-year-old kiddos! She still exhibits some fine motor weakness in some areas but she is significantly improved compared to where she once was. She loves to cut and is able to snip, snip, snip using adaptive scissors. She LOVES to color (such an artist, our girl!) and is able to mimic vertical and horizontal strokes. We are slowly beginning to work on writing individual letters. 

We are still trying to solve the mystery of the edema (aka swelling) she experiences in her hands and feet, which seems to sporadically worsen in the winter at times and sometimes causes increased fine motor weakness, but our girl is a fighter and battles through. We are so proud of the gains she continues to make in her motor skills and pray they continue! 

Cognition. Preschool has been one of the BEST things to happen to our Bellaboo. She ADORES school - she loves putting on her book bag and will tell you several of her friends' names when asked (Jack; Isaiah; Jace). :) She is absolutely adored by her three teachers. She is the youngest in her class, with the most needs at this point, but we truly believe she is in the most loving, nurturing school environment possible and is showing such great progress there! 

As I mentioned, she gets individual PT, OT, and ST at school as part of her Individualized Education Plan (IEP), which has been so great for her! Bella LOVES to read, read, and read some more (i.e., listen as we read her books). She loves completing puzzles, she loves singing in her big sister's microphone, she loves watches DVDs about numbers and letters and colors and shapes. She can count to 10. She can identify her numbers and several letters and most colors. She loves flashcards, our little school girl! :) She loves playing pretend. She loves being around others. She truly has come so far from the days of just banging toys together! She is amazing. We have big hopes and big dreams for our girl and know that God hears our prayers. <3

Out and About/Playing. It's probably pretty clear in the weekly family updates I post, but our family is a very busy, very active one. And our Bella? Homegirl just continues to roll with it all! Whether traveling to visit family or going on fun trips/outings, Bels is just along for the ride. 

Etc. We've had multiple doctor appointments since the last update six months ago: Pediatric cardiology? Check. Pediatric dentist? Check. Holistic medicine doctor? Check. Neurosurgery follow-up? Check. ENT/allergy testing? Check.  Audiology? Check. Our girl has been keeping us busy, and we continue to be so thankful for those involved in her healthcare. <3 We still have some question marks we are trying to answer but have faith that God has got our girl in His hands and has from Day 1. 

Also, after a year of not growing, I swear Bella's feet have jumped two sizes over the last six months! It's just about time to have her fitted for new ankle-foot orthotics (AFOs). And speaking of growing, her hair!! Our sweet girl, whose head was shaved weeks before we met her, now rocks shoulder-length hair that is long enough for ponytails. :)

Bella continues to be full of love and joy, with a laugh that absolutely lights up the room. She adores her family and the feeling is beyond mutual. Bella also loves to "help" ;) me with the laundry and is the best of my four at cleaning up! That being said, she can be extremely stubborn determined and hesitates to try things that she perceives, or are, challenging for her, but with insistence and encouragement, she has knocked so many of her therapy goals out of the park - so much so that I met with her educational team earlier this week to update her IEP, as she had mastered some of her goals and needed new ones in place. Go Bels! 

Just this week, we started implementing a completely new approach to treatment. I don't want to share specifics yet, as I want to see how it affects her first, but we are extremely hopeful, encouraged, and prayerful that this new approach will work wonders for our little rockstar! She definitely has a whole team of Lu Crew support behind her, that's for sure!

Oh. Also. We are attempting potty training, but it has been pretty arduous so far. Siiiiigh. So, we will continue trying and encouraging until she masters this goal, too. Prayers appreciated. #prayingforpoop

Bella is the light of our family. She truly is. She brings such an incredible amount of happiness and joy to all who cross her path, and I am so thankful she is here, at home, with her family, and able to feel the kind of love, adoration, and care every child deserves. It makes me cry to think what things would be like for her - medically, cognitively, emotionally, socially - if she were still in that big orphanage in China. Adoption has been the biggest blessing, and we continue to thank God for ensuring we found our daughter and were able to bring her home, where she belongs - with her family, learning about our God, who loves her so very much. Thank you, Jesus, for our Bella.  

With the tremendous progress she's made over the last six months (check out the last update from 7 months ago - wow!), we can't wait to see what the next six months hold for our girl. Bella Elizabeth, you are loved, you are loved, you are loved, sweet girl. Onward we march, together... 

Cheers to the Week, Hello Again! Edition

Ten years ago, I joined Facebook. Seven-and-a-half years ago, I started this blog. I have never taken a break from either. 

It was time for a break. 

I took the last two weeks off from social media - I literally deleted the social media apps I use (Facebook and Instagram) from my phone so that there would be no temptation to use them. I was sure I would be tempted. Honestly? I wasn't. At ALL. It was such a refreshing break. I did miss blogging, but it was nice to give myself two weeks off with no pressure to post. In short, it was a great cleanse. But. More on that in an upcoming post! 

For now, I thought I'd share a bit about what our last two weeks have looked like, for memory's/virtual scrapbooking sake. So, here, some things we've been saying CHEERS to as we kick off a new week: 

Doctor appointments galore. We have been busy, busy, busy with appointments, including a check-up with Bella's neurosurgeon. She'll be undergoing sedated MRI and CT scans in a few weeks to keep an eye on some things we're keeping an eye on ;), so big prayers appreciated that all looks as it should with that big appointment. <3 

Left: First visit with neurosurgeon in October 2017.

Right: Most recent visit in January 2019. My, how she's grown!

After being cleared by her cardiologist, Bella was able to re-visit the dentist for her first teeth cleaning and all looked good! We also saw a new doctor, one who specializes in Eastern medicine, and there is so much I want to share about it!!!, but I'll save it for an upcoming post about our wee warrior woman. Bels also had some blood drawn for allergy/other testing. And by had some blood drawn, I mean our brave girl had eight vials of blood drawn at once; so, we are anxiously awaiting the results of that. In a nutshell? Homegirl has been keeping us busy the last two weeks between all these appointments and her regular, weekly therapy schedule. Whew! But isn't she just the cutest?! <3

Banks also had an eye appointment with a new optometrist who we LOVE, local friends, if you're looking for a rec (we first heard about her from a good friend and are more than happy to pass on the eye love!). We found out over a year ago that Banks is near-sighted (just like his dad!) and needed glasses, but, to be totally honest, we have been AWFUL about making him wear his glasses. And, as it goes with those who are near-sighted, sight only declines with each passing year. So, we needed to re-check his vision and get glasses consistent with his new prescription. He found a pair he l.o.v.e.s. and has been rocking them since last week. I think he looks like quite the adorable little gent, if I do say so myself. :) (Also, how creepy are his dilated eyes :0 ). 

Organizational extravaganza. If you know me, you know that I love a good schedule, to-do list, routine, and alllll things organization. With my social media/blog fast, I had some extra time in my days and used some of it to organize, organize, organize: Our bathroom drawers and cabinets; our laundry room drawers, cubbies, and cabinets; my jewelry collection (and the angels sang, hallelujah!); the kitchen junk drawer; etc. We are feeling very clean and organized over here, ha! There are still a few more spaces I'd like to purge and organize, but I think I'm off to a pretty good start!

Winter sports. Winter sports will be winding down in a few weeks and spring sports beginning! For now, though, basketball and flag football march on! Regarding basketball, I am so proud of Raleigh. This is a brand new sport for her, and while she is still trying to figure out exactly what she should be doing during the games ;), I have to share this sweet story: Raleigh's first ever basketball game. The whistle blows signaling the start of the game, and she runs to the spot where her coach had told her to go. Her teammate got the ball, passed it to Raleigh, she threw it up and......BAM!!!!! scored her first ever basket (which was followed by a second one later in the game). She looked over at us with the shyest, slyest little grin and it was the sweetest thing. Go Rals! She was so proud, and we are so proud of her for trying something new!

And Banks is having a great season, too! Even though basketball is probably definitely my least favorite sport to watch, it has been an exciting and entertaining season, with playoffs just around the corner for his team!

Date nights. My hub and I have squeezed in several date nights over the last couple weeks: one was to a fundraiser in support of Lily Pad Haven, which supports survivors of sex trafficking. My hub recently joined the board, and it was incredible to be at this event, supporting these amazing, brave fighters and working to raise money to support them as they get back on their feet. I was in tears during the event and can't wait to continue to support this awesome organization. <3 

We also had a yummy dinner date, just the two of us, at Ilios Noche, a yummy, Charlotte restaurant with Mediterranean cuisine. One of the things our pastor always says is, "Love is spelled T.I.M.E." Whether it be spending time with our significant others or our kids, I have taken that line to heart ever since I heard it. So, for Christmas, one of my gifts to my hub was four separate gift certificates for four separate date nights - the first being for a dinner date to Ilios Noche. I also gave him gift certificates to Top Golf, an Escape Room, and Fandango, so we have three more fun dates coming our way, and I can't wait! He also bid on, and won, a Nascar driving experience at the Lily Pad Haven event, so I guess that makes four upcoming dates. Can't wait! <3

ALSO, my hub and I found two great shows to watch. The first was a quick documentary, called Fyre Festival on Netflix. Holy smokes. It's a quick, easy, and mind-boggling watch. Second, we are now completely obsessed with Schitt's Creek. Don't disown me here but...I think it is up there with shows like The Office and (my all-time most favorite) Friends. It is literally laugh-out-loud funny. We both laugh every single episode. You MUST watch! :) 

Family time. Again, "Love is spelled T.I.M.E." and we've been trying to give our kiddos even more of ours the last couple weeks. From family game times (new favorite: Clemson-opoly!) and reading times (I've been setting a timer for 30 minutes so that Banks, Rals, and I can sit alongside each other while each quietly reading our own books) to driveway basketball and movie nights, we've been having some great Lu Crew fun. 

Friend time. I was also able to squeeze in some good friend time over the last two weeks. There was a birthday wine night for two of my dearest friends, a movie night with two other friends I love, and just this past weekend, an evening of axe-throwing, followed by dinner in Charlotte, to celebrate another sweet friend's birthday. Full heart over here. <3

Me time. But also, I need me time. It is just crucial for my sanity. So, I have been hitting up my most favorite place as much as I can, <3 Barre3 <3, and also managed to read two books and am in the middle of another, with a highly anticipated other waiting in the wings (more on those in an upcoming post). 

Bad*ss little lady. My hub and I joke that our Raleigh is braver than both of us (and both our boys). And...she proved it again last week when she pulled out her own tooth. My hub and I had each squeamishly tried for WEEKS to get that sucker out, trying not to faint every time we attempted. We both failed, repeatedly. Then, last week, Raleigh went to school one morning, pulled it out, and came home one-tooth-lighter. 

Etc. Let's see. What else? We met our precious new family member, our little kitty, who should be coming home to us THIS WEEK!!!! We are so excited and Raleigh can hardly contain herself. She informed us that, just like when we brought Bella home from China, she wants everyone to make signs and stand in our driveway as we pull up with her new kitty - she is even requesting that her grandparents be there - ha! She also said she wants to invite all her friends over that day to meet her new kitty - she is just such a proud momma. <3 We've been buying our new little guy toys and a bed and food and a litter box and all the cat things, and we can't wait to welcome him home any day! 

What else? It's hard to believe we'll be registering my baby boy for kindergarten in less than two months. Siiiiiigh. 

We also finalized some fun summer plans, reserved a couple camp spots, bought the kids their swimsuits (crazy, I know, but they sell out so fast!), etc. We may be in the middle of winter but we are dreaming of summer already! :) 

I have also been making a real effort to cut out most processed foods from my diet. Being a busy momma, it is just so easy for me to eat what is convenient, which is processed foods. But I decided a few weeks ago to try and really eliminate a lot of gluten and a lot of sugary, processed foods. Now, don't get me wrong - I am not depriving myself of certain snacks when I want them (daily). I am just trying to also incorporate some healthier meals into my day so that I am not always eating 99.9% processed food. For example, my hub and I have been eating different variations of Overnight Oats (SO easy and quick to make) during the week, instead of the English muffin with peanut butter, honey, and cinnamon I have started my mornings out with for YEARS. I will still have that once or twice per week because I just can't quit my peanut butter/honey/cinnamon English muffin, but it's been nice to have a less processed option the other days. :) I've also made a number of clean eating meals over the last few weeks for dinner, which have been quite good (I take zero credit. I just follow the recipes). Always happy to share more for anyone who may be interested. 

This child avoids vegetables like her life depends on it. Too bad Momma snuck some in to this DELICIOUS cauliflower soup. She sucked down the entire bowl!

ANYWHO, in other words, it's been a restful, relaxing, organized, productive two weeks filled with necessary changes! I do have more I want to share about my social media cleanse, but I think this is a long enough post for now - ha! Be back soon. I hope you have a great start to your week!