Gotcha Day

We were told to meet in the lobby at 10:00 am. From there, our guide would take us to the conference room where our kiddos would be brought. Clay and I got to the lobby about 15 minutes early. He had just prayed over us, and the tears fell as I lifted my anxiety up to the Lord. We were looking around the lobby, looking for the other two families, and our guide, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw her. 

 

There was our daughter, Bella Elizabeth, being carried into the lobby by her orphanage nanny. "There she is! That's her! That's her!" I told Clay, and I started crying. She was so beautiful. Her nannies had dressed her in the sweetest blue seersucker dress and little blue sandals with elephants on them. I wanted to run over and scoop her up but also knew we needed to ease into the hand off. So, we waited for the other families and our guide to arrive and then we all headed up to the conference room. 

She was so sweet. Looking all around, taking in the room, scoping out every detail. I couldn't take another minute of being away from her. I walked over and kneeled down to where her nanny was holding her. "Momma," her nanny gently told her while pointing to me. I reached out and grabbed her hands. She immediately began to poke out her little lip and frown. She looked back at her nanny and then back at me, protruding her lip with all her might. I slowly reached for her and scooped her into my arms. Her eyes began to well up with tears.

"Hi there, baby! Hi!" I talked slowly and softly, while she took me in. She was scared, uncertain. I walked her over to a window and started describing the scene before us. She was just so very sad. She made not a sound but her tears began to silently fall. Her Daddy, who was filming the whole scene, walked over and began to speak to her quietly. She wasn't sure of him at first, very likely having not seen many males in her life. He held her for a minute when she began to whimper. So, I scooped her back up and she started crying. We waffled between quiet confusion and tears and whimpers for a little while. 

But then, I started telling her about her big brothers and sister. About all the people who love her. About the life we will give her. I know she couldn't understand me. But somehow, it calmed her. And slowly, oh so slowly, she became more comfortable. While she wasn't interested in the doll, musical toy, nor lollipop we initially presented, she was interested in puffs. So, her daddy and I took turns handing them to her. At first, she just wanted to hold a single puff. She wouldn't eat it, but if she dropped, she would search all over until she found it. And then, she decided to give it a try. She slowly put it in her mouth. And then, she decided she liked it! Now she wanted a puff in each hand and would take turns eating them, then wanting two more. All the while, she was studying us. 

After asking her nanny a few final questions, it was time for the orphanage workers to leave. I teared up, mouthing 'Thank you,' to the woman who has been caring for my daughter for the last two years. 

Bella watched as her nanny left...and she was okay! No tears! Her daddy decided to try holding her again. This time, she opened her arms and went to him. I'm pretty sure he was wrapped around her little finger right at that moment. And that Daddy, well, he will proudly be able to claim the first smile. He started squeaking her little squeaky sandals, and she thought it was fantastic! She smiled shyly at first but then did it again and again! 

Meanwhile, we had to have professional photos taken for the adoption paperwork, one as a family and one just of her. She did great! After completing more paperwork, we were finally told we could go back to our room, about an hour or so after the whole introduction began. 

We walked slowly through the hotel, watching as her observant eyes took in all there was to see around her. It took my breath away, watching her watch the world. We arrived to our room and immediately gave her one of her favorite foods ("biscuits" we were told by her nanny). She loved it! She sat in my lap and nibbled away, while continuing to take in all the details around her. We gave her a sippy cup of water, too, which we offered to her in little sips. Then, her Daddy discovered that she was ticklish. He tickled her toes and....she LAUGHED. I had been so certain that we wouldn't see a smile for days, much less a laugh, and our amazing girl have us both within two hours of meeting her. 

And then, the biggest yawn escaped her little mouth. It had been a big morning for our little girl! After a quick diaper change, it was time for her to hit the hay for her nap time. And this is when my heart nearly broke and when I was reminded of why it was vital for us to carry out our calling of adoption: We layed our girl down in her crib, covered her with her pink Bammy blanket, and watched as she clasped her little hands and rocked herself to sleep. She rocked quickly from side to side, and it was very clear that this is what she's done the last two years to put herself to sleep, when there was no one there to rock her. She learned to rock herself. It broke my heart, and I told Clay, "This is exactly why we needed to adopt. No child should ever have to rock herself to sleep." 

And now, she is asleep in her crib, and we are re-living the special moments of the morning. Neither of us can believe it went so well. We aren't fooling ourselves - there will be tough days and hard moments ahead - but for now, we are relishing in these moments, the morning our daughter was an orphan no more. The morning we got our girl. We gotcha, Bella. Forever and ever. We gotcha.