T.I.M.E.

One of my favorite things our pastor says is, "Kids spell 'love' T-I-M-E." 

In other words, our children want our undivided attention. They want TIME with US. That is the most important and influential thing to them. That is what makes them feel the most loved. 

I have heard from so many kind people over the last month about how well Bella seems to be doing - how happy, comfortable, and adjusted she looks. And honestly, she is, all of those things. Part of this is because she just oozes joy. It is part of her soul. Being (mostly) happy is just so her. But also, part of this is because we have worked very hard to make her feel safe and loved. And when I say "we" I mean ALL of us - all five of us. We have focused so much of our T.I.M.E. on our littlest girl, and it will continue to be that way as she continues to transition and embark on our long, therapeutic journey. And it's true, we are seeing it pay off. And I am so proud of her. AND I am SO proud of my Big 3, who have selflessly let our Bella occupy the spotlight for quite some time - not only since we brought her home, but the many days, weeks, and months well before she arrived, all those countless hours we spent completing paperwork and then preparing for her arrival home. Banks, Raleigh, and Harrison have been amazing.

I also want to be clear, though. I do not want to sugarcoat things: Bella is doing amazingly well, BUT things can be pretty hard right now. Obviously, adding another little one to a family is always a big adjustment. And to make things more complicated, there is so much we are still trying to figure out about our girl. And I am trying to do all those things while making the rest of my Crew feel special and loved. Don't get me wrong: I fully recognize this is a beautiful, special time in our lives. And I love this time in our lives, but to be totally honest, it is hard, too. It is a big change, a beautiful one, but a big one. And I am super tired at times. And my feelings have been hurt by others at times. And I am overly sensitive at times. And I am trying to juggle a lot at times. And I snap at my kiddos more than I ever want to at times. And my hub has to take the backseat at often times.

So, I realized that, to maintain my sanity ;), I need to carve out little moments of time for myself each day, whether it be writing or spending time with a friend or working out or just showering ;), it's important. But what is even more important to me is to get back to one of my favorite things to do in the world: have planned, special, one-on-one time with each of my littles. And I don't mean the little moments with each of them I make sure are carved into each day. I mean a scheduled, special occasion, or what we like to call Momma Dates 'round these parts. It's been awhile since I initiated them, and it was high time to do it again.

I decided to start out with Banks, first, as I feel like I have been particularly hard on him lately, putting high demands on him when I am feeling stressed. It's not fair to him, and I have needed to remind myself that he is only 7 ("and 3/4, Momma" says the almost-birthday-boy :) ). So, last night, I took him out for one of our favorite previous Momma Dates: We went out, just the two of us, to have chocolate cake...for dinner. :) 

He got all dressed up and ready to go, with the help of his Daddy, and was the perfect gentleman the entire evening. But my absolute favorite part was our conversations. No topic was off the table, and I loved being able to go into such depth about several important topics. I think we both left our date feeling happier and more connected. It's one of the best nights I've had in awhile. I can't wait to do it again.

In fact, now, it's time to plan a date with Raleigh and then Harrison. And when's just a little older, Bella. Because while children spell love "T-I-M-E," I think most of us grown-ups do, too. <3