Sick Days

For me, sick days were warm chicken soup, comfy jammies, and a soundtrack of Price Is Right in the background. It was extra snuggles and naps in my mama’s big, cozy bed. It was cold wash clothes placed gently on my forehead and being soothed while medication was administered. Sick days were comfort days. I felt safe because I was with my mama. 

For the first 26 months of her life, any time Bella was sick, she was...alone. She didn't have the undivided attention, care, nor love from her momma to soothe her. And while there were undoubtedly orphanage nannies there to take her temperature and give medication as needed (I hope!), it's just not the same. 

Imagine when you were little, being at school, and not feeling well. Your head is pounding, your skin burning with fever, you feel achy. You raise your hand and ask to go to the school nurse. You walk down to her office, alone. Really try to picture it: the sterile nurse's office with the stiff chairs and the disposable-paper-lined examination table. She is kind but matter-of-fact. She takes your temperature and confirms you are ill. 

Now imagine...What if it stopped there? 

What if you then just had to lie in her sterile office all day and night, on the stiff exam table, not feeling well and in the presence of someone you hardly know. You are not in the comfort of your own home, resting in your own bed, being snuggled and loved and comforted by your adoring momma. Sure, someone is there to administer medicine and allow you to rest...but it is far from the tender loving care of your own momma. 

Can you imagine?

It breaks my heart. 

Every little one deserves to get well while in her momma's arms. 

____________________

When Bella awoke with a fever today, it halted every single plan that had been put in place for my busy Wednesday. I cancelled them all. Because while there were important places I needed to go and things I needed to get done, not one trumped taking care of my baby girl: the one who was without her momma for the first 26 months of her life; the one who never, not one time, had a momma to care for her when she was sick; the one who was 3 years, 5 months old, before getting sick enough to stay home from school and having her momma there to care for her, like only a momma can. This baby deserves to be snuggled and loved, to be rocked after medication is gently administered, to be checked on, over and over, during her nap, to be read to and sang to and hugged and kissed. This sick little lady deserves to be cared for by her momma. 

And it is one of the greatest privileges of my life to be able to do it.
____________________

Adoption isn't easy. It comes from a hard, broken place. There is loss and trauma and pain. But adoption is beautiful. Beauty comes from the broken. Beauty comes from the loss and the trauma and the pain. There is redemption and rejoicing and joy and gratitude and faith-building and love. So much love. 

Every child deserves to have her momma during sick days. I'm so glad my Bella has hers. <3

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 3:12.