Today is June 16th.
Today is Father's Day.
Every so often, these two events collide: the one where we spend the day celebrating the amazing dad my hub is to our little Lus. And the one where I grieve the death of my own dad, who died completely unexpectedly 29 years ago today. On June 16, 1990.
Trauma changes you. A big reason I am who I am today - the good, the bad, the me - is because of the inexplicable loss I endured as a 9-year-old child. My personality, my career path, my parenting approach, my perspective, my faith, my priorities...they are very much the result of losing my dad as a child. Much of who I am is because of June 16th.
And much of who I married is undoubtedly because of June 16th.
God knew that my life circumstances would mold me into a woman who needed to stand on her own two feet, who needed to spend her life helping children, who would try to control as much of the world around her as she could, all resulting from the complete loss of control experienced from a parent's death at such a young age. He knew that I would be a caring and determined (read: stubborn), quick-tempered planner who would love those around her with her whole heart and always carry a fear of suddenly losing them. He knew who I was. He saw who I would become. And He knew who I needed.
He knew I needed someone who would love Jesus with all his heart, who would support my dreams even when they changed, who would be as full of love and ambition as he was patience and kindness. He knew I needed a partner who would pour into our children - who would lead them and guide them, who would use their mistakes as teaching points, who would encourage independence but also be readily available for support. He knew I needed a husband who would serve not only as my best friend but also as my greatest confidant, most trustworthy secret-keeper, and the great love of my life. He knew I needed Clay.
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in Jesus. And I believe it was Jesus who sent my now-husband into my life on the exact day that he did:
June 16, 2002.
So, when these days collide: June 16th, when I lost my father, and June 16th, when I celebrate the father of my children, I will cry tears of grief and cry tears of gratitude, both for the great loss in my life and the great love in my life.
Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I miss you more than ever. Love, Your Princess.
Happy Father's Day, Clay. You are an answered prayer. Love, Your Linds