Bella, Post Adoption: ONE YEAR

I've been trying to compose this post for awhile now but to be honest, I have tried and stopped so many times because I didn't know where to start. 

How do I begin to describe what the last year has been like? 

How do I do any kind of justice to what the last 12 months have held? 

I don't know. 

For so long, Clay and I wondered if we should adopt. It had been laid on our hearts so long ago, but we were scared and uncertain. We were living a safe, comfortable, easy life. Now, it makes my breath catch when I think about the what if's...

What if we had said no? What if we had let fear dictate our life instead of God? 

Now I know: our hearts would never have been whole. 

Because what we didn't know at the time was that a piece of our hearts was on the other side of the world, surrounded by hundreds and yet alone. Waiting, so, so bravely, for her momma and dada to come to her and bring her home. 

When we met our daughter, she was missing something, too - not just her family. She was missing a piece of her soul. It had been pushed down, diminished, hidden, forgotten, until it was unrecognizable, until she was only a shell of what she should be. 

She was missing the glimmer in her eyes - her spark. Her joy.  

I was the same, in a way - a piece of my soul had been pushed down, diminished, hidden, forgotten. I was missing something. What I know now is that I was missing HER. 

Bella is joy. She is life and light. She is determination and resilience. She is belly laughs and hugs. She is love, and she is faith. She is everything we ever needed and everything we were ever missing. She makes us whole. 

As we celebrate one year of being a family, I thank God for keeping His hands over her until we could get there. I thank Him for weaving her into our hearts so long ago, for continuing to call us to adopt, knowing she was there waiting for us. Thank you, Jesus, for our Bella. I don't know what we'd ever do without her. 

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Friends, life isn't about comfort. It isn't about safety. It isn't about easy. It isn't about perfection. It isn't about acquiring more stuff. 

It's about faith. It's about family. It's about Jesus. So much Jesus. 

For the many who reached out during the last year, asking about adoption, please listen to God. Trust Him. If He has given you the calling, it isn't going to go away. Nor should it. 

I will never regret saying yes. I was scared and anxious for so long, but He has been beside us, and her, from Day 1. Don't say no because you're scared or you're worried about how your life will change. It will absolutely change! It will be harder and busier and more stressful. It will be more chaotic and exhausting and unpredictable. It will be more beautiful and meaningful and faith-filled and life-giving than you can ever imagine. Yes your life will change...in the absolute best possible way. How I wish everyone was called to adopt - everyone deserves to experience the kind of beauty and wonder and awe that is our Bella. Is your little one waiting? 

My hope and prayer as we celebrate one year with our Bella is that, a year from now, those of you who are considering adoption will be on pins and needles, waiting for your little ones to come home. As we celebrate our littlest Lu, I pray for God to open the eyes and hearts of those who, too, are considering adoption. I pray that the comfortable, predictable, easy lives won't prevail over the immeasurable beauty that is adoption. I promise you: If you are called to adopt, it will be the best "Yes!" of your life...and theirs. <3 Please reach out. I'll help you and walk with you and pray for you through every step. This I pray today, July 31st, exactly one year since we met our daughter in a hotel conference room on the other side of the world. 

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Bella Elizabeth, Year 1 is in the books, sweet baby. On to Year 2 we go. Adventure awaits...

(For anyone who wants to get a glimpse of what the first year with our Bella looked like, I created this video to show her one day. <3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDaIREXM-Fk&t=3s)  

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27