2012 In Review

Whew. 

It felt really good to take a blog break. Now, I must say: I enjoy writing. I mean really enjoy it. But. It has been a tough few weeks, filled with moments of joy and happiness, sure, but also filled with an underlying feeling of sadness because of the losses I've endured. I remain hopeful that 2013 will be filled with blessings, happiness, and joy. To be fair, the overwhelming majority of 2012 was a joyous and happy year for my family and me. It's just that the last month was punctuated with grief, and I am ready to find more joy, and less grief, again.

That being said, I am actively choosing to take the pressure off of myself to publish several times a week. I have decided to keep my personal and family resolutions to myself, but I can say that there will be less scheduled posting and more posting when I have the urge or desire to write. Writing is therapy for me. It is a way for me to express how I feel, to document snippets of my life.  Yes, I absolutely love writing. But. I absolutely do not love the pressure I put on myself to publish a certain number of times per week. So, while there may be fewer posts, all of it will continue to be from the heart. And all of it will happen once I feel that my time has first been directed toward my hub, children, family, and home.

Okay. That's out of the way. 

Moving on. 

I thought I'd start 2013 by reviewing some of my favorite snippets of my life from 2012. So, here I go:

January

Without a doubt, the highlight of my entire year: The birth of our precious Raleigh Jane. I just don't know what we ever did without her. 

February 

We took Banks to the circus for the first time. This is something I will never forget. It allowed him some special one-on-one time with Momma and Daddy and he was in awe all day-from the "train ride" (i.e., Marta) to get there to the the souvenirs and show itself, it was awesome. 

March

We continued to adjust to being a family of four, absolutely loving every chaotic, exhausting, fun-loving minute! 

April

We took advantage of what Atlanta had to offer, including Easter celebrations, a local fair, and the golf course, of course.

May

My hub and I traveled to Texas to attend the wedding of one of my best friends and then closed out the month at the beach with my hub's side of the family. Fun! 

June

We jumped into summer with both feet, celebrating Father's Day with a special father-son helicopter ride, checking off items from our Summer Bucket List (puddle jumping!), and ending the month by going back to the beach with some of our favorite people in the whole world-the Peeles!

 

July

We continued our quest for summer fun, including celebrating the 4th, doing lots of swimming, having a Mama Date to take Banks to see his first movie, taking Raleigh to her first Braves game, having our first annual Christmas in July with my side of the family, and putting our house on the market!

August

We celebrated our beloved Pop's 60th with a surprise party, continued to watch our little lady grow before our eyes, saw the brother and sister bond continue to strengthen, and said good-bye to some good friends in Atlanta as we prepared to move. Oh, and my baby sister got engaged! Woot!!

September

Another momentous month for us! Not only did we move to our new home in Fort Mill, but I left my job as a pediatric neuropsychologist and started my new job as a stay-at-home momma. Oh, and we also celebrated my sweet boy's 3rd birthday. Busy, busy, busy! 

October

October was full of adjustment and fun as we got to know our new neighborhood, enjoyed some Tiger football, and celebrated Halloween!

November 

We spent the month "doing nice things for people" and also soaking up lots of family time, including meeting the newest member of our extended family (my new nephew!) and donating meals for 80 families in the Aiken, South Carolina, area. We also celebrated Thanksgiving with both sides of our family, which was a blast!

December

Despite some heartache, we still had a beautiful month as a family and were able to see many of our extended family members for some pre-Christmas celebrating while also spending Christmas Eve and Day alone, just our little family of four, which was very special. We also had a good time celebrating a certain someone's (cough, cough) big 3-2. We ended 2012 with three of our favorite people (again), the Peele family.

 

All in all, I'd say it was one for the books! 

Here's to a joyous and blessed 2013!

Dear Amy

I miss you.

I got the news early Christmas evening that you had passed away.

My heart broke. Right there, in the middle of giving my two babies their bath, my heart just shattered.

I cried because I missed you with every ounce of my being with the very next breath I took.

I cried because I had planned to come visit you the following week and immediately realized I was too late. I will regret this for the rest of my life.

I cried because I loved that you had continued to fight and battle and go to all out war against cancer as hard as you could so that you could enjoy one last beautiful Christmas.

I cried because I cannot imagine the absolute breath-taking agony your own Momma must be experiencing, to the depths of her soul, to lose her only daughter at such a young age.

But do you know what made me cry the most? What continues to hurt my heart each and every day?

Knowing that you won't have the chance to be a Momma yourself.

Because Amy? You would have been a damn good Momma.

You know how to love right down to your very core. You know how to live life to the absolute tip-top fullest. You know how to be a true, genuine, loyal friend while expecting nothing in return. You know how to reach out and care for others like no one else can. You know how to bend the rules but only to ensure that those around you are having the best time possible. You know how to fight like hell, like absolute hell, when the odds are stacked against you.

You are what the good Mommas, the truly, truly good Mommas, are made of.

It's not fair, Ames. You should have gotten the chance to be a Momma. Because, like everything else in your life, you would have kicked ass at it.

I will never understand why your time on this Earth had to end so soon. It's just not fair. And my heart is aching and torn and broken.

But Amy? Here's the thing. Because you lived your life to the absolute tip-top fullest, and touched every single person who was lucky enough to know you, you will always, ALWAYS be with us. Because we will remember you. We will think of you. We will love you. Every single day.

And Amy, I promise you this: I will think of you, my beautiful friend, first thing every Christmas morning. I will hang an ornament in your honor and wish you Merry Christmas.

I know, too, you will continue to visit me in my dreams, just as you have over the last three years, just as you did two nights before your time on this Earth came to an end. I will cherish these visits with you and look forward to them.

I miss you. I always will.

And one last thing: I would say rest in peace, but I think a good friend recently put it best when he said, "...nobody who's ever known Amy thinks she's up above without raising a raucous. Heaven just got a little more fun..."

Truer words were never spoken.

I love you.

Your "best best friend,"

Linds