Lately With The Lu Crew

Shooooey! Life has been busy lately!  I think that's a fair statement for pretty much all human beings, though, right? We are all busy in different ways at different times. Nonetheless, it's important to me to use this little space to document the comings and goings of my little family, among other things. 

So. Here's a bit of what's been going on with the Lu Crew lately:

• We've been checking things off our Summer Bucket List and having a lot of fun doing it. From splash pads to kite flying, from homemade pizzas to Carowinds, we've been makin' memories and makin' the most of our summer days.

• My hub and I may be seven years late to the party, but we are obsessed with Breaking Bad. It is such a suspenseful, morally complicated, complex show and we have been binge-watching the whole series this summer. We are finishing the last two episodes tonight, and I can't wait to see how it ends! We are also Big Brother fans and have been following along with all the house guests this summer as well. Can you say junk tv? Love it.

• During a trip to Target with my trio last week, Banks and I decided to do some spontaneous school supply shopping. How is my little boy so big? I am going to miss him so much during his long school days, which start August 17th  and go from 7:40 am to 2:25 pm. Siiiigh. 

• Speaking of Banks, he has been lovin' the pool this summer and definitely wants to try out for swim team next year. Neither my hub nor I were ever swim teamers; so, this will be a new experience for us all. Meanwhile, he absolutely wants to play football this Fall, too, which does not bode well for my (former) pediatric neuropsychologist, concussion-evaluation-providing self. Yet another siiiiigh.

• Then, there's Raleigh, who is the pure definition of sugar and spice. The child love, love, LOVES wearing dresses (actually, her "currency," we have discovered, is dresses, which means she is not permitted to wear dresses when she makes bad choices and is allowed to wear them when she makes good ones-ha!). She also loves to tell those she loves, "You are beautiful." She does this daily, totally unprompted, and totally genuinely, many times. She also calls her baby dolls "honeys" (as in, "Look, Mom, my honey is going to jump in the pool"). I finally realized she does this because I often refer to her as "honey" (as in, "Come on, honey! Let's go!"). Sweet lil' momma! At the same time, the girl struggles hard core with her "listening ears." Definitely a goal for us to tackle the rest of the summer.

• Meanwhile, Harrison's vocabulary is growing by the minute. Even though he STILL only has his two bottom teeth at the ripe ol' age of 14 months, he loves to talk and tries to imitate pretty much everything we say. Some of the words he says these days include: mama, dada, Raleigh, Coop ("Boop"), bubble, ball ("doll"), hot dog, light, nigh-night, milk, bottle, bath, ducky, up, Elmo ("Melmo"), banana, cake, eat, no, yellow, purple, Nana, Pop, and pool.

• Not going as well...weaning him from a bottle to a sippy. I know, I know. I take FULL responsibility for this. It is TOTALLY my fault because I have been so lazy with it. He just loves his bottle and does such a great job gulping down his whole milk all by himself that I have yet to truly attempt to take it away, especially as we are trying to put a little more meat on his bones. I'm thinking after our next beach trip...

• Last weekend, we traveled to Aiken, South Carolina, for the day to celebrate the 90th birthday of my hub's grandmom. It was definitely a special afternoon, as she was surrounded by her five children and her many grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

• Speaking of, we're headed back to the beach next week, this time with my "side" of the family. We are headed to the North Myrtle/Cherry Grove area. There will be 14 adults and 7 kiddos in ONE HOUSE. That's right. TWENTY-ONE PEOPLE. ONE HOUSE. Luckily, it's an 8-bedroom, 7-bathroom house right on the beach; so, while it will be chaos, it will be my favorite kind of chaos. And I am so excited to have another week of watching my babies play with cousins and soak up all things beach...and me, too!

• I am loving my new women's Bible study group. While my hub and I continue to meet with our couple's LifeGroup (going on two years this Fall...wow!!! So crazy it's already been that long!), one of my best friends started a women's group a few weeks ago. So, every Wednesday night, 15 other awesome neighborhood friends and I meet up and dive in--asking real, raw, tough questions all while studying Jennie Allen's Anything. I look forward to it every week and can't wait to see how it continues to shape and transform us.

• This week is a fun one for Banks and Rals, who are attending Science and Dance camps, respectively. Meanwhile, I've been beach preppin' and hanging with my littlest dude, who unfortunately, came down with a high fever a couple days ago and is trying to battle it off before we hit the beach: 

And that's about it for now! Have a great week/end, and be sure to check back on Monday for the next Mom-ing Through Faith post...it's gonna be a GOOD one, I promise!

Mom-ing Through Faith: On Communication

"Don't do that!"

"Stop!"

"If you do that one more time..."

"Go to Time Out!"

"Just a minute..."

"Just wait 'til your Dad gets home..."

Any of this sound familiar? Either, words coming from your mouth or from your own parents' mouths when you were growing up? 

We are mommas. We are parents. We are humans. Therefore, communication is a vital component of connection with others, including our children. However, somewhere along the way, things often take a wrong turn. I cannot tell you how many parents I've worked with who struggle with helping their child modify a certain behavior (e.g., whining; hitting; lying; not sharing; not listening) and often, it all boils down to a breakdown in one key area: communication. 

Don't think you struggle with this? Think you've got it all down pat? Don't think this applies to you? 

I hate to say it...but...you're wrong. 

How do I know? Because even though I have extensively studied, have been trained in, and taught others, and parents in effective communication, I make mistakes in this area every.single.day. So, I'm thinking it's a safe bet that most others do, too, even though we know better and are trying our hardest to do it right. 

But here's the thing, effective communication is vital to maintaining and sustaining and modifying and nurturing relationships, including those with our children, those with our spouses, those with our families, those with our friends, those with, well, other humans.

Yet, as mommas, as busy, busy mommas, we often fall victim to the pitfalls of ineffective communication because, to be honest, doing it wrong is often easier that doing it right. 

But. Doing it right makes all the difference in the world. 

Want some specific examples of rules for effective communication? Here you go!:

Praise > Criticize. This is a BIG one. For every critique, offer 5x more praise. Want to conduct an insightful, honest experiment on yourself? For the rest of today, communicate as you usually do with your child. Take note of how many times you get onto/criticize/correct your child versus how many times you praise them/positively recognize his/her behavior. The overwhelming majority of parents don't realize how many times their communication with their child is negative ("Don't do that!" "Stop!" "You're making a bad choice!") versus positive ("I really like the way you're..." "Great job doing..." "You're making a good choice!"). We do this because we are busy and are more prone to comment on negative behavior than positive because the negative behavior sticks out to us more. For example, your child hits his sibling. You will discipline him for it. (as you should--this is a priority behavior to correct). But your child sits quietly and does a puzzle alone for 20 minutes. Who out there will honestly take the time to say, "I really like the way you sat quietly and completed your puzzle. You did a great job!" Most of us won't. Because if our child is playing quietly, it means whatever else we're doing at the time isn't being disrupted.

Use positive imagery. Instead of saying, "Don't run," try "Walk please." Instead of saying, "Don't hit your brother," try "Use nice hands please."Instead of saying, "No jumping on the bed," try "Sit down please." Because here's the thing: if you say, "No jumping on the bed," you have just given your child a visual of jumping on the bed instead of giving him/her a visual of sitting down. And also, again, we want to minimize the negative talk and maximize the positive.

Pay attention to those nonverbals. Nonverbal communication is just as, if not more, important than verbal communication. Whenever possible, look your children in the eyes when you are talking to them. Get down on eye level. And do the same when they are talking to you. Put down your phone and actually listen. Smile and nod and be genuinely interested in what they have to say. Because if you don't, one day, they will stop trying to communicate with you. Why talk to someone who doesn't seem interested? 

Be short and sweet. Studies have shown that people retain approximately 20% of what they are told by a doctor. It is simply information overload. Well, the same is true for children. They don't need long, elaborative explanations and rules. Simple and clear-cut is best. Young children are capable of following single-step instructions (e.g., Put your pajamas in the hamper"). As children grow and develop, they are slowly capable of following multi-step instructions (e.g., "Put your pajamas in the hamper, put on your socks, and brush your teeth"). However, it is important to check for comprehension. After you give your child instructions, have them repeat back what you said to make sure they understand.  

Side WITH your kids. This was a very powerful part of the Andy Stanley sermon on parenting I previously referenced. Rather than viewing behavioral issues as a You versus Them, try to shift your perspective. Be on their team. As Andy says, be grieved with them when they make a bad choice. For example, "Ohhh no! You colored on the walls." Be genuinely sad they made a bad choice and talk about it. Be grieved with them and not against them. 

Do as I do. Our children are always watching, observing, taking in the world around them. They are watching us. They are listening to the words we use. They are paying attention to how we interact with others. Therefore, it's important to model good communication for them. Just as we want them to remember their P's and Q's, we should, too. Speak to your child the way you want them to speak to you--with respect and politeness. 

Have a poker face. This is another great tip that Andy offers during that sermon. Now, this is something I definitely need to work on! But basically, we should strive to "not freak out" when our child comes to us to tell us something that feels scary to them ("Mom, I spilled paint all over your new carpet"). Rather than freak out, try to remain calm and then tackle the situation together. This will help your child feel comfortable coming to you again in the future rather than trying to hide additional, and bigger, problems down the road ("Mom, I smoked a cigarette for the first time."). 

Verbalize emotions. As parents, we have the great responsibility to educate our children on emotional expression. As early as possible, it's important to help your child learn to label emotions: "I can see that you feel angry I won't let you dump out the dog's water bowl." It is important to label our own emotions for them, too: "I feel so happy that you got in the car the first time I asked. Great job!" Try using this technique as an example: "When you ____, I feel _____ because ______." For example, "When you run away from mommy in the store, I feel worried because you might get lost."

Pray out loud. Early on, it is important to pray out loud with, and for, your children. Not only does this demonstrate to them the importance and power of prayer, but it allows for open communication, it allows for them to hear what is on your heart. And then, they learn to do it, too. As early as possible, encourage your child to say their own bedtime prayers with you and don't correct what they are praying for ("Dear God, Please let me go back to Disney World to see the princesses."). This is not the time to critique. This is the time to praise them for opening up their hearts to the Lord. 

Like everything in parenting, this is all easier said than done (no pun intended ;) ). However, it truly can make a world of difference and really make the later stages of discipline (coaching; friendship) that much easier. 

Next week, another topic that completely changed the way I parent, from an amazing book my LifeGroup studied earlier this year. This one is a game-changer, and you won't want to miss it! See you next week.:) 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29.

I Got My Toes In The Water...

As we pulled onto the main beach-side road on Edisto Island, the song "Toes" by Zac Brown Band came on the radio. I turned to my hub and said, "That's a good sign. This is going to be a great week!"

Boy, was I right!

This was, without a doubt, my favorite family trip to Edisto yet! Every summer, we head to this small, quiet island with my hub's side of the family and stay in his uncle's oceanfront beach house. There is not much to do on Edisto, and that's just the way we like it! We basically wake up each morning and spend all day long on the beach, and it is simply glorious. 

 

And now, my Top 10 favorite moments from our 2015 trip to Edisto with the Lu clan, in no particular order:

New night-time activities. This year, I surprised the littles with glow sticks, and our first night, we let them stay up late and run rampant on the beach, waving their weapons around while we basked in the beautiful moonlight. Another night, our Nana made the kids streamers, which they just loved watching dance in the wind.

 

Watching my kids love the beach. Banks, Raleigh, and Harrison enjoyed every single solitary second on the beach. As long as their toes were in the sand, they were happy campers. They swam, they jumped, they built, they dug, they threw, they laughed, they snacked, they slept, they slid, they walked, they hunted, they LOVED it. 

Time with my hub. Lord knows, this last year was a crazy one for our family. It was SO nice to reserve some special time just to be able to hang out with, relax with, watch the sunrise with, talk with, stroll with, hold hands with, and laugh with my best friend. 

Spending time with my nieces and nephews. I am an aunt who adores spending time with my nieces and nephews, whether it be building sand castles with them, playing cornhole against them, or snuggling with them. I don't get to see these kiddos enough, so when I do, I take full advantage and soak up plenty of playtime with, and snuggles from, them. 

Seeing my hub do what he does best. Be a Daddy. Our littles look up their Daddy so much, and I love how much he loves to play with them and be with them. So special for this momma heart to see. <3

 

Spending solo time Momma time with each of my littles. As a momma of three, it is harder and harder to sneak in solo time with my babies. However, with all the extra helping hands at the beach, it is much easier; so, I made sure to jump waves with my Raleigh, hunt for shells with my Banks, and watch the sunrise with my Harrison. Pure heaven, I tell ya. 

Watching my babies with their grandparents. I am so blessed to have such amazing parents, both on my "side" and my hub's "side" of the family. My children are so loved by their Nana, Pop, Bammy, and Digby! And it was so special this year to have my parents (as well as a couple of my siblings and nieces) join us at the beach for a day alongside my "in law" family. 

Family walks on the beach. Each year, my little family of 5 (which was once 4, and before that, 3, and before that, 2) takes an evening stroll down the beach, just us. This year was no exception, and I loved continuing this little tradition of ours. 

Watching sweet cousins play together. My kiddos are so lucky to have so many cousins on both sides of the family. And it is so, so fun to watch them play together, even more so when it's on the beach!

Celebrating the US of A on the beach. It was a blast to be at the beach for the 4th of July this year, and we definitely made the most of it!

What an absolutely amazing trip! Until next year, Edisto!

Mom-ing Through Faith: On Discipline, Part 2

Last week, on Mom-ing Through Faith, I wrote about the stages of discipline through parenthood, which has truly transformed the way I view parenting. Now, it's time to dive in to the goods: effective discipline methods! I hope you'll continue to follow along over the next few weeks as I offer specific information and advice on discipline, learned through my education, training, efficacy-based practice, and experience.

Let me start, right off the bat, with what I consider the cardinal rule of parenting; one that can be, and should be, applied, throughout all ages and stages of childhood and parenting. One that I was taught, and subsequently trained other parents in how to use,  during my graduate school years by a supervisor who is very well known in the child psychology field. You ready?

Be consistent and persistent. 

Huh? Say wha? Let me explain. 

It is vital that children learn what is okay and what is not-okay behavior. This has absolutely everything to do with effective communication (comin' at ya live, next week) but also the fact that rules are very consistently and persistently applied. 

Mommas and Daddys need to be a cohesive team--both should be in agreement on what the rules of the house are so that they can be consistent in maintaining those rules. 

Rules should be consistent across children, across settings, across situations, so that all are held to the same standards at all times.

And parents need to be persistent over time in sticking with the rules, rewards, consequences, and disciplinary techniques. 

It is easy to let things slide sometimes. But this is a very slippery slope. Because then, your child becomes unclear on when the same behavior is allowed and when it is not. This is why it is crucial to be persistent in discipline.   

And let's be totally honest here: this is MUCH easier said than done. But it is critical.

One very specific behavior modification method that is commonly used by parents is also often commonly incorrectly used by parents, so I thought I'd highlight it here as a concrete example of being consistent and persistent in parenting. It can vastly improve a child's particular behavioral problems but only when consistently and persistently (and correctly) applied. So many parents used to tell me they had used this method and that it didn't work. I'm here to tell you, if you do this correctly, and consistently and persistently, you can modify just about any problematic behavior in favor of more appropriate ones. 

So what am I referring to? Behavior charts. 

Behavior charts can be effective for kids as young as toddlers to as old as teenagers (and beyond), as long as they are adapted for the child's developmental stage. 

Let's pick an example target behavior: Using a "big boy" voice (aka not whining). Here's how it works.

What you want to do is having an actual, visual chart that lists all seven days of the week and is broken down into time segments. This allows the child multiple opportunities to demonstrate good behavior (in this case, using a "big kid" voice [i.e., not whining]) throughout the day. And, even if the child slips up during one of the time segments, additional opportunities are available throughout the day to continue to try and demonstrate the good behavior because the day is broken down into specific time segments. Every time the child shows the target behavior for the duration of the time segment, they earn a sticker for that block of time on the chart. So, if on Sunday morning, Johnny used a "big boy" voice (i.e., did not whine) from the time he woke up until it was time for breakfast, he would earn a sticker for that block of time, which would be put in that space on the chart.

In addition, working together, the parent and child should come up with a rewards menu of items the child is working toward. This means, the better of a job the child does at demonstrating the target behavior, the more stickers he/she will earn and the better of a reward he/she will be able to "buy" with the stickers. Here is a quick example I drew out just to give a concrete idea of what I mean by all this cognitive-behavioral psychology jibberish: 

You can also google "behavior charts" and tons will pop up; however, try to make them as simple and straightforward as possible. It's all about clear communication (again, an important post on this topic coming next week). 

A couple key points: 

• The way the system works needs to be clearly communicated to the child at the outset, and the behavior of focus should be clearly defined.   

• Lots of praise should be offered in response to good behavior. 

• Children respond best to immediate gratification. So, while they are working toward a larger reward at the end of the week, it may be helpful to have small rewards at the end of the day (a hand stamp; a small piece of candy; etc.). 

•  For young children, focus on one behavior at a time. Only once that behavior has changed (e.g., no more hitting of siblings) should a new behavior be addressed. This may take one week or it may take several.

• You MUST find your child's currency. In other words, what is of value to them? What would they be willing to work for? Because what may be a valuable reward for one child (e.g., a small new toy; a candy bar; solo time with momma; getting to choose the movie during movie night) may not be valuable to another. 

• Put the chart in a place where it is easy to access and easily viewable to all. The chart itself serves as a good reminder to the child of what he/she is working on. 

• Decide ahead of time whether the child is allowed a reminder of the behavior you are addressing if they slip. For example, if Johnny whines once, you are allowed to remind him once per day to use a big boy voice without him losing his sticker for that block of time. However, if he does it again, no sticker. And be consistent and persistent in maintaining this rule. Children should not get multiple warnings. One warning/reminder and that is it. None of this, "I'll give you one more chance," and then giving them eight more chances (I hear parents do this all.the.time.). Why would a child stop misbehaving if they KNOW more warnings are coming without actual consequences? They won't. Be consistent and persistent. One warning and then actually follow through.

Well, I think that's enough to chew on for this week. As always, as Christians, we mommas should allow ourselves (and our children!) plenty of grace. See you next Monday for the next Mom-ing Through Faith post, which should prove very, very helpful for mommas (and non-mommas, too). Basically, if you interact with humans on a day-to-day basis, this will be one you don't want to miss!

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11.

Mom-ing Through Faith: On Discipline, Part 1

Every momma makes her own choices from the moment her baby takes his/her first breath: To breastfeed or not? To co-sleep or not? To cry it out or not? To vaccinate or not? To homeschool or not? To require extra-curricular work or not? To buy a teenager a car or not? To offer rewards for good grades or not? 

Each of us makes our own, individual momma decisions each and every day. And every momma is unique. And every child is unique. 

But. 

There is one unifying issue that we ALL face: Discipline. 

That being said, though, there are a great many ways to discipline. And SO many questions and opinions on how to do it "right." 

What I present now (and over the next few weeks) is MY opinion. It's information that I find helpful. These are strategies that I use when parenting. I present this information not only as a momma of three who is 5.5 years into this parenting gig (which is still very much "rookie" status compared to the many mommas who have raised teenagers and beyond. Trust me, I have several mommas in my life who are rockin' the late childhood/preteen/teenager phase who I look up to and will be constantly soliciting for advice when the time comes), but also as someone who is doctorate-level trained in child and family psychology with lots of experience in helping children with severe emotional and behavioral disorders, which included lots and lots of parent training. So. Not only is this research-, training-, and educationally-based, but also (and maybe most importantly), experience-based. 

One caveat: My children are not perfect. Why in the WORLD would they be? Am I perfect? Absolutely not. So why in the WORLD would I expect perfection from my children? Or from myself? I don't. So. Please do not assume I have this whole momma thing down pat. I am NOT EVEN CLOSE.

As a Christian, I think the greatest thing we can offer ourselves as mommas is GRACE. We should not only allow, but be okay with, making mistakes. And allow the same courtesy for our children. Because not only are we on a lifelong learning journey as mommas, but our children are on their own learning journey, learning what is okay and what is not okay behavior. Mistakes are a crucial part of that journey.

Also, remember that last post? The one about gifts? Well, my gifts do NOT include cooking. They do NOT include interior design. They do NOT include  business-mindedness. They do NOT include spontaneity. Nope. But I do have experience in working with kiddos and their families. So. Hopefully, the training and experiences I've had will prove helpful to others. But also, please feel free to chime in via Facebook commentary if you have specific questions or other advice or opinions. Because, again, I want this to be a COMMUNITY forum, where we help one another, ranging from mommas of newborns to mommas of college-bound kiddos.  It takes a village, right?

Anywho, this is going to be a multiple weeks kind of topic because, well, it needs to be. There is just SO MUCH to dive into that it would be information overload to include it all in one post. In fact, it's hard to even type as fast as my thoughts are running right now, and I just can't WAIT to share all this information that is filling my child psychology-lovin' noggin. So. Off we go!
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I want to start with something that I heard in an Andy Stanley sermon on parenting (this is an AMAZING sermon, by the way, that he presented alongside his wife, if you have any time to watch or listen). It has HUGELY impacted the way I view parenting ever since I heard it a couple years ago. 

Basically, Andy and Sandra talk about how our role as parental disciplinarians changes across age-defined stages throughout our children's development. Specifically, 

Ages 1-5: The Discipline Years. This stage is crucial in teaching our children right from wrong. These are the years when we will often feel like we are disciplining our children all.the.time. These are the years we are "in the trenches." These are very demanding years, as we are constantly shaping, modifying, and teaching appropriate behaviors. We are outlining rules and expectations and handing down consequences to help our children learn what is okay and what is not okay. But here's the thing, and this is IMPORTANT: not handling this stage of discipline effectively can have an adverse and long-lasting impact on later stages of development if the hard work of effectively disciplining is not done NOW. This is not the time to try to be your child's friend. This is not the time to strive to be well-liked by your child. If this stage is done correctly, you are setting the stage for a lifelong friendship with your child, albeit when that time in life comes (see below). This certainly doesn't mean we can't have fun with our children, make loving and lasting memories with them, and enjoy them. But. It is of GREAT importance that persistent and consistent disciplinary methods take precedence. When asked to define my parenting, I always say I am "firm but loving." I offer lots of praise and am a play-on-my-hands-and-knees and be present and fun kind of momma, but I am also not afraid to be strict and firm when I need to be. More on that later. And I am going to spend a good deal of time outlining much more about what I mean by "effective" discipline in the upcoming weeks. So, make sure you stick around...

Ages 5-12: The Training Years. Now it's time to work alongside our children, helping to train them to make good choices based on what they learned during the disciplinary stage. They will still need a good bit of help and guidance, but more in the form of reminders and revisiting previously learned lessons rather than constant, hands-on discipline. They are inherently given more independence as they enter the formal schooling years, which is why it is critical that appropriate disciplinary methods are used during those early years--in the hopes that they will take what they have learned and begin to be able to apply it without having a parent looking over their shoulders at all times. 

Ages 12-18: The Coaching Years. This may be an especially hard stage for "helicopter" parents (and trust me, I need to really work on pulling my plane away by the time I reach this stage!), as children are afforded much more trust to use what they have learned throughout childhood as they continue to gain independence. We parents are now the "coaches": giving them encouragement and guidance from afar (but, of course, being ready, willing, and able to step in when needed). Again, this is why it is critical to get the discipline right from the get-go; otherwise, behavior can regress as independence is gained.

Ages 18+: The Friendship Years. Now is the time for friendship. As our children leave the nest in pursuit of their own dreams and desires, we can take on the role of a friend, a confidant, a trusted and well-loved companion, while, of course, also being available to offer sound advice and help and guidance as needed. As Andy and Sandra say, "later is longer." While it would be much easier and more fun to take on this friend role earlier in life, those early years are such a short period of time in their life. Why not set them up for success by using effective discipline early on, especially since "later is longer" (meaning the 18+ stage clearly lasts for a longer time, allowing more time for true friendship for the remainder of life, especially if discipline is effectively introduced and maintained early on).
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Whew. I think that's enough to chew on for this week. I have SO MUCH planned on this very important topic of discipline, including very specific recommendations and strategies that can be put to use immediately. In fact, next week, I'll present what I consider to be the CARDINAL RULE of parenting; so please make sure to check back in next Monday as Mom-ing Through Faith continues...

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6.

11 Years. Forever.

My Hub,

Today, the vows we said 11 years ago mean more than ever before. 

Through thick and thin
Through good and bad
Through easy and hard
Through light and dark
Through better and worse
Through it all

Our love has never, ever waned. 

You are my forever. I love you with all my heart, Rich. 

Remember this? 

Forever By Ben Harper
 
Not talkin' 'bout a year
No not three or four
I don't want that kind of forever
In my life anymore
Forever always seems
to be around when it begins
but forever never seems
to be around when it ends
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do From you

People spend so much time
Every single day
Runnin' 'round all over town
Givin' their forever away
But no not me
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you

Like a handless clock with numbers
An infinite of time
No not the forever found
Only in the mind
Forever always seems
to be around when things begin
but forever never seems
to be around when things end
So give me your forever
Please your forever
Not a day less will do
From you 

With All My Heart,

Your Wif