Friday, May 1, 2015

A Letter To My Last Baby As We Enter Year 2

Dear Harrison, 

Oh, my precious little light. What in the world did we ever do without you? I will never forget the quiet moments I prayed for you, while waiting, month after month, for God's perfect timing. And then the day came. I was pregnant. And my life-long dream of having a family of five came true. 

We waited anxiously for your arrival, taking special care to prepare your big brother and sister for the big change that was coming. I was nervous. How would they feel about adding another to our clan? Would they love you as much as they love each other? Would they adjust? Would they include you? Yes, sweet boy. The answer to all of those questions, the answer to all of our prayers, was yes. Banks and Raleigh have loved you from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes from the moment they met you.

The day you were born was the best day of my life. And trust me, there was stiff competition: the day I married your daddy was pretty top notch. The day I became a momma? The greatest moment of my life. The day I welcomed a little girl into our family? No words to describe it. But the day you were born? That was the day all of my wildest dreams came true. It was the day our family became complete: I had your daddy, I had the one who made me a momma, I had my one and only little girl, and then I had you, the final, beautiful, perfect piece to our family. 

As for your Daddy? Well, don't tell him I told you, but he basically just melts into a puddle whenever he sees you. The joy that immediately lights up his face is a beautiful sight to behold. He just ADORES you, sweet boy. When I was pregnant with you, he just knew you were a boy. Just knew it. And on the day those three words ("It's a boy!") confirmed his suspicions, you made his wildest dreams come true. He would have his two sons. His one little girl. Yes, you were a highly celebrated blessing before you were even born.

I cannot even begin to describe the joy I take from seeing you with your big brother and sister. Maybe even more than me, they take such pride in having you as a little brother. They run to see you in the morning, they sing to you, they (still!) want to hold you, they want to feed you, they want to play with you, they want to teach you. Not for one single solitary second have I ever seen an inkling of jealousy from either of them over you. On the contrary: they are so proud of you, and they absolutely adore everything about you. And I'm pretty certain the feeling is mutual.

Here's what you need to know from me, little buster: you are an absolute ray of sunshine. Even on the most trying days, even during my darkest moments, even when the world takes an unexpected turn, you always, ALWAYS put a smile on my face, just by being in the room. Thank you for that. You've saved me more than you'll ever know.

And also? You are the snuggliest baby I have ever known, and I think God intended for you to be exactly that way. You see, sometimes it's hard when a momma knows a baby will be her last. So, I think God created you perfectly so that you would want to snuggle down deep with your momma every single day, burying your sweet hands paws (they were the first thing I noticed when you were born--those giant but gentle hands--just perfect for holding!) between your chest and mine and nuzzling your blonde-headed noggin just so into the crook of my shoulder. It just makes my heart soar.

Harrison, there is no way I could ever begin to adequately describe the depths of my love for you, your brother and sister, and your daddy. You are my people. Through the happiest of times, through the hardest of times, through the most beautiful of times, through the most brutal of times: we are a family. And I am so, so thankful to have you as a part of it all. 

You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.

With All My Heart, 


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