Hanging On and Letting Go

I always knew that independence would come with age. 

I just didn't know it would come so fast. 

I am in a very interesting phase of life right now, one where my oldest son is seeking more independence while my youngest is...seeking more independence. Two different boys. Two different ages. Both searching for the same. 

_________________________

We battled intense separation anxiety with Harrison for about a year. Every Sunday at church drop off. Every other Monday evening when our sitter arrived. Every time I would drop off him off at Mother's Morning Out. Every time I, well, was pretty much out of sight. The tears would fall, the screams would come, my heart would drop. 

A couple of weeks ago, Harrison suddenly decided that he was a-okay when in the care of others. No more tears at church drop offs. No more shrieks when being left with a sitter every other Monday night. No more clinging to my neck when being dropped off at Mother's Morning Out. He was fine on his own. He was okay being more independent. And my heart soared with pride. And also ached with the realization that he was learning to be okay without my constant presence. 

_________________________

Over the last month, Banks has been asking to ride his bike to our neighbor's house alone. To go out into the woods with friends. To go for a run down the street by himself. To play in the backyard without supervision. To go hang with the older kids for games of two-hand touch football. He has been asking for more independence. And my heart has soared with pride. And also ached with the realization that he is certainly okay without my constant supervision. And now, often, prefers it. 

_________________________

I always knew that independence would come with age. 

I just didn't know it would come so fast.

Nor that it would be so hard for a Momma.