814 Days

814 days. 

I have an album they gave us that day, in that hotel conference room in the northern most part of China. The one containing a handful of photos, accompanied by descriptions, written in Mandarin Chinese, of various activities she experienced during the first 26 months of her life. A handful of photos. Taken over the first two years of her life. Do you know how many photos I have of my first child during the first two years of his life? Thousands. And a few photos is all I have of hers. 

814 days. 

My daughter was an orphan. One orphan among HUNDREDS of other orphans, in her orphanage alone. Have you ever seen photos of an infant room in a Chinese orphanage? Think metal-crib-to-metal-crib-to-metal-crib-to-metal-crib, attached side-by-side, all lined up in rows, in one big room. And yet, those who have visited these rooms, full of so many infant Chinese orphans, lying alone in these cribs, come away surprised: despite the many, many babies lying in these cribs, the room is silent. Even as these sweet babies' tears fall, they remain silent. They have learned there is no one who will rush to them to comfort them. There are just too many of them and not enough caregivers to go around; so, they cry, but they do so silently, alone, in their metal crib, one of hundreds. 

814 days. 

There were two birthdays she experienced as an orphan: her 1st and 2nd. I don't know if her caretakers knew it was her birthday on May 8th (I also don't know if May 8th is the actual day she was born - it was their best guess). I don't know if she received a gift. I don't know if there were candles to blow out. I don't know if she was made to feel special, if she was celebrated, if each year was commemorated. There is no photo evidence to suggest she was. I don't fault her caretakers. She was one of hundreds. Her caretakers did they best they could, I'm sure. But there were hundreds of children to feed and bathe and dress, day after day. Maybe they celebrated her. But my hunch is that those birthdays were the same as every other day that passed. 

814 days. 

Eight hundred and fourteen days is 814 days too many: too many to be an orphan; too many to be one amongst hundreds; too many to be without a momma; too many to be without a family; too many to be alone. 

Do you know what today is? 

815. 

Today is the 815th day since the day we met our daughter. Today, our Bella has been a Luton for longer than she was an orphan. She was an orphan for 814 days. Today, she has been a Luton for 815 days.

We can't get back those 814 days. So, I treasure the handful of photos I have from the first 814 days of her life. I cherish the Mandarin Chinese descriptions of what she did on a few occasions, some of those 814 days. I look at the thousands of photos I have taken of her since the day I met her. I reminisce over the hundreds of videos I have captured of her over the last 815 days. I thank God for protecting her for 814 days until we could get to her, and I thank Him for protecting her during the 815 days since we first met our girl on the other side of the world. 

For 814 days our daughter was an orphan. 

But for 815 days now, she has no longer been an orphan. She has been a Luton. 

Praise be to God for our Bella Elizabeth and the 815 days we have been so very blessed to know her and adore her.