Friday, October 11, 2019

Self-Care for the Mommas

Mommas, I know we are all in different seasons with different stressors. Some seasons feel stormier than others, but still, we all feel busy and we all have many balls in the air we are trying to juggle well. I thought I'd take a post to share some of the things I do to promote my own health, my own self-care, regardless of what season I'm in. 

Last year at this time, I was in a hard, dark season. There were days I just tried to focus on getting through one hour at a time, wishing and praying for sunnier days. And now, that season has past and a more pleasant one has arisen. Will the darkness return? Undoubtedly. But whether my days feel stormy or sunny, I have made it a point to make self-care a priority for my own mental, emotional, and physical health. You know the whole airplane-oxygen-mask analogy? I live by that: I can only be the best version of myself as a wife, momma, and friend if I remember to take care of me, too, not just the people around me. 

So, here are some ways that I make it a priority to do that: 

Exercise. For me, a regular exercise routine is CRUCIAL for my mental (and physical) health. Whether it be logging miles around my neighborhood or getting in classes at my beloved Barre3, I always, always feel more alert, calm, energized, and at peace after getting in exercise (and some days, this may mean squeezing in some form of workout or activity in the spare minutes of the day - crunches between loads of laundry; a quick walk while pushing Bella in her stroller, etc. - but I always try to get some form of activity in). 

Mentoring. In the Spring, I reached out to someone I highly respect, who is solid in her faith, a hard-working wife and momma of two daughters who are now in college and high school, and a friend and inspiration to many. I asked if we could start meeting regularly as a mentor-mentee relationship, and so, we did (and still do!). I absolutely cherish the time I get with her, sharing our hearts and talking through all kinds of issues. I am so very thankful for our relationship and the wisdom and guidance she is able to share with me. <3

Me time. Each day, I try to find a little time to do something just for me, that I enjoy. Some days, that may only be 5 minutes, but I still try to fit it in. This year, I resolved to read at least two books per month for fun, and I have hit my goal every month so far. Whether it's reading in the carpool line while picking up Bella from school or getting in a chapter or two before bed, these little moments of a chosen hobby help so much (as does this lil' ol' blog!). 

Investing in (grown-up) others. While I think social media is a great avenue for many things, I don't think it's a great avenue for dig-in-deep, grow-and-nurture relationships. Online connections are just not the same as actual, in person connections. So, I have made it a point recently to get in more face-to-face (or ear-to-ear) interactions. Aside from date nights with my hub, I try to get in plenty of girl time whenever I can: lunch with a friend; a walk around the neighborhood with a friend; a coffee date with friend - I try to schedule face-to-face time with a friend or two every single week to ensure I am supporting our relationship. 

Pampering. I have never been a big spender and have always felt guilty indulging myself in any way. It feels selfish to pamper myself; so, I very rarely do. This year, I decided to tell that voice in the back of my head to quiet down and invest in myself from time to time: I shared recently that I had microblading done (and you guys, seriously, the time it is saving me! Holy cow!!). I also finally bought one of those Crest White strip kits for home teeth whitening after eyeing them for years - ha! I have started buying nicer cosmetics (except for my mascara - my grocery store mascara is still my FAVE!). And yes, you guys: I got Botox (as recently as yesterday!). Honestly, even writing this paragraph is making me uncomfortable because I truly feel guilty when I spend money on myself, but I do try to do it from time to time, to care for, and pamper, myself. 

Grace. This may be the biggest form of self-care I can recommend: giving ourselves grace. I make mistakes daily and try to do better than the day before every day but still, I have a long way to go. In my journey to heaven, I am learning to allow myself a little grace and not be so hard on myself when I mess things up. 

LifeGroups. I cannot tell you how important a LifeGroup is for my self-care. My hub and I were in a couples LifeGroup for over five years and the love, support, authenticity, and growth we shared, together as a group, over those five years is something I wouldn't trade for the world. To me, it is called a LifeGroup not only because you go through life together but because it is Life-Giving. Our couples group finally dissolved earlier this year, and I spent many months praying about a new LifeGroup, feeling called to begin a brand new one for women. And so, I have. And we are meeting for the first time next week, and I cannot wait to grow and nurture these relationships and do life together. I swear, it's one of the greatest forms of self-care: LifeGroups. 

Having something to look forward to on the calendar. This is such a great form of self-care for me! It's easy to get in the rut of the day-to-day to-do list, amIright? Having at least one thing coming up in the near future always puts a little pep in my step, even when my day isn't going so swimmingly. 

Intentional, purposeful prayer. I talk to Jesus a lot. And not just the ol', "Dear God, Thank you for...." More like, "Good Morning, Jesus. Okay, so here's what's up..." I talk to Him openly and honestly, out loud, sharing my struggles and fears and hopes and dreams. And I always feel lighter and cared for after I do. 

Positivity. At the beginning of the year, I vowed not to let negativity bring me down. The word I chose for myself this year was "Light." I want to be the light for others, bring happiness to others, and not let negativity or pessimism or comparison traps hinder that mission, choosing instead to focus on the upside. And I have worked to be proactive in my mission of spreading light, including when it involves myself: rather than wallow in something that has hurt or bothered me, I try to think of ways to resolve it. Some days I wallow longer than I would like but still, I allow myself some grace and keep moving forward. It has truly helped me to focus on "Being the light." 

And that's that, y'all. I hope you are able to find a little self-care in your days, and if I missed anything in this list that you find helpful, please share! I'd love to hear how you take care of yourself so that you can be your best self for those around you. Have a great weekend, friends! <3



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