What Makes It Hard

I am now just over 6 weeks into this Momma of three gig. It's been quite a whirlwind. Already, I feel like I've learned so much. About what's important. About what's not. About what's hard. About what's not. 

Here is a glimpse into my life as a Momma of three over the last six weeks. 

What makes things hard:

My hub travels. Over night. While he limits it to one night a week these days, he often leaves well before the kids wake up one day and is home well after their bedtime the next. So, while it is one night, it is two full days. Alone. With three young children. One of whom, nurses every two hours during the day. This is HARD. Especially because...

One thing I am very aware of is that my children have this one childhood. This ONE childhood. I am responsible for shaping it. For making it magical. For teaching them right from wrong. For making sure they have beautiful memories of fun adventures. For making sure they are learning the lessons they need to be learning at these ages. What I absolutely refuse to do, no matter how tired or stressed or had-it-up-to-here I am, is use the television to babysit my kids. Things would be so much easier if I did. But I don't want my children to have more memories of "Super Why" and "Sophia the First" and "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" than they do of playing outside and using sticks as swords and making bug traps out of leaves and swinging "super high" on the swing set. So. No matter how tired or stressed or had-it-up-to-here I am, I am their Momma. Not Minnie Mouse. And also...

My older kiddos are best friends. My older kiddos are arch nemeses. This changes approximately every 5 minutes. There will be moments of joyful belly laughs followed immediately by "Mooooooom!!!!" and tears and complaints and he said/she said. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And then there's...

My littlest one, who likes to nurse every two hours during the day. Every two hours. From the START of one nursing session to the START of the next. This leaves little time for organized play, chores, to-do's, etc., in between. Very little time. And did I mention...

My small fry has acid reflux. We were treating it with Zantac. Which worked great! Until it didn't. Back to the pediatrician we went. We got a new prescription. For Prevacid. Which hopefully will work great! But. It's still not ready for pick-up from the pharmacy. It's so hard to see your little one in pain. So hard. Oh, and of course there's...

My own health and well-being following my third major surgery has been tricky. Because along with giving birth--such an amazing, beautiful miracle--comes the not-so-beautiful post-partum recovery. My body is still healing from surgery, over six weeks later, with certain things taking longer to heal this go 'round compared to my previous deliveries (I will not go into detail here. You're welcome.). Let's just say I am ready for my insides to get back to normal. Not to mention trying to find time to get my outsides back to normal. I am proud of my body for creating and carrying three beautiful lives and bringing them into this world. But. Now I'm ready for it to become mine again (which really won't happen in full until I am done nursing in a year...). And lastly I have to mention...

Life doesn't stop happening just because you bring new life to the world. Having a baby at the end of April turned out to be a busy time of year to do so, with all the end-of-the-school year participating, teacher appreciating, Mother's Day celebrating, birthday partying, baby shower planning, and wedding attending that needed to be done. 

Yep. It's hard. There have been tears. There has been doubt. There has been pain. There has been exhaustion. There has been frustration. There has been second-guessing. There has been impatience. There has been self-disappointment. 

But also? There has been plenty of good. Plenty of kindness. Plenty of happiness. Plenty of support. Plenty of friendship. Plenty of family. Plenty of joy. Plenty of love. Plenty of life.

So. What makes it easy? What really makes it all worth it? 

It's this. 

And this.

It's this. 

And, of course, this. 

It's this. 

And this. 

And I would do it again, every single hard and easy moment. I would do it all again. 

Because it's worth it.