Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Wee One Wednesday: The Sacrifice

A year ago, I wrote a blog post about the immeasurable love of a parent, sharing the truth of how God sent His son to die for us, for our sins:

He sent His own SON to die for us. 

He sacrificed His son to save my own. 
And then I went on to say that I, selfishly and sinfully, am not capable of making such a sacrifice. I would never be able to send my child head first into such fate, even if it were for the benefit of others. I would not be able to sacrifice my child.

Which leads me to today and the grief I have been experiencing lately, the tears readily and frequently falling, the deepest ache in the greatest depths of my soul now commonplace, every time I think of our impending adoption. 

Because here's the thing: 

For us to bring home our daughter, another mother has to lose hers first. 

This mother has to sacrifice her daughter--the one she created and loved with all her heart before she ever even laid eyes on her. This mother has to walk away from her beautiful baby, somehow actually walk away from her daughter, knowing she will never see her again. This mother has to live her life wondering what her daughter's laughter will sound like, whether she will prefer braids or buns, what she wants to be when she grows up, what she will enjoy doing on the weekends, who she will fall in love with, what she will look like on her wedding day, how many children she will have, what kind of woman she will became, what kind of career she will choose, what kind of life she will lead. This mother will sacrifice all of those things, all of those moments, all of those feelings, all of those memories. 

She will sacrifice her daughter.

I am not as brave nor as selfless as this mother. But here is what I hope and pray, with all my heart, that this mother knows: that she will always be our daughter's family. She will always be her mother. She will always be treasured within our family as the one who gave us our littlest Lu. She will be spoken of with all of our love and respect because it is the most beautiful, selfless act of God to be able to sacrifice a child in the hopes that she will have a better life. I hope and pray she knows that a mother's love is unconditional, it is not bound by blood nor birth nor name, and that I already love the daughter she brought into this world. And I hope she knows that we love her, too.  

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.


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