{Long Overdue} Confessions

I need to lighten my (mental) load, which means? Confession time. Here goes. Let's see if you still want to be friends after this: 

Earlier this summer, my hub went out to run some errands and came home with an Instant Pot. Being the "chef" that I am, I have used it exactly...ZERO times. However, he has used it three times to make dinner, and the meals have been delish. Fingers crossed I master it this Fall, especially once our school/sports/therapy schedule kicks into full swing! I see the potential of it. Now, I just need to find the potential in me. ;) 

I cannot stand a cluttered house, when it comes to my own house that is. Your cluttered house? My anxiety remains low. My own cluttered house? Full blown anxiety. But this summer, after way too many anxiety overloads, I finally had to give in and allow myself permission to be okay with a cluttered space. Not always - I am human and have nagged my kids more than I should to clean their rooms and straighten the playroom - but I tried, at least, right? 

I've never had a wax - not eyebrow, not bikini, not nothin'. I've also never had a blow-out and can count on one non-manicured hand how many manicures I've had in my entire life.  

This summer, we got a CSA (community supported agriculture {and yes, I had to google what "CSA" stood for}) box every week, that we remembered to pick it up, that is.  Bookoos Bukus Boocoos Loads of fresh veggies (think squash and zucchini and eggplant and tomatoes and cucumber and corn and peppers and...well, you get the point) forced me to make fresh, unplanned meals for dinner each week. I was able to get (a little) creative and cook something other than a pre-packaged meal on occasion. The real confession? I kind of liked it. But also? See confession #1 above. I am no chef. But maybe a wannabe one in training? Time will tell. 

I often know more than people know that I know. I am an excellent secret keeper and have many things in the vault. You have a secret you are dying to share? This girl's lips are sealed. Share away. 

I have dental phobia. Yes, one of my sister's is a (fantastic!) orthodontist. No, you couldn't pay me a million dollars to follow in her footsteps. Bleh!

A couple weekends ago, my hub and I were enjoying dinner in Charleston with some dear friends. I saw some artwork that caught my eye on the other side of the restaurant. I kept trying to point it out to my hub: "Look at that artwork! See it over there?" (He looks at me confused). "Clay, right over there. How do you not see it? It is right there, over by the bar, on the other side of the restaurant." He looked at me like I'm crazy and started dying laughing: "Lindsay! That is a mirror. There is no 'other side of the restaurant.' That 'artwork" is behind you!" Oops. (In my defense, several of our friends had also believed there was a whole other side of the restaurant). 

I misspelled restaurant twice when typing the statement above. For the record, it's /restaurant/ not "restaraunt." I will never ever ever remember how to spell that word. 

On a serious note: one of the things I have learned from our adoption journey that I didn't anticipate but am now grateful for is what has been revealed in relationships. It's been hurtful at times, to be totally honest, but also beautiful in a way. While my heart has been hurt by those relationships that fell by the wayside, by those I assumed would be there for us but weren't during our first year as a family of six; my heart has been re-built and strengthened by those who stepped up to love us, support us, check in on us, and be there for us during the hardest year of our lives. I had heard this going into the process - that relationships would change, but it wasn't until I experienced it firsthand that I came to appreciate our true village. It has made me want to be a better friend, a better family member, a better person, to carry out the beauty that was bestowed upon us. To our village, we love you. Thank you for everything you have been to us during the busiest, hardest, most challenging, most brutal, most exhausting, most important, most beautiful year of our lives. Thank you for recognizing when I was struggling and needed encouragement. Thank you for loving all four of my littles like only one's village can. I only hope I can be the kind of support that you were to me when I needed you most. <3

A little heavy to end on, no? Okay, then how about this?


I (still) love me some Big Brother, Teen Mom, and Southern Charm.  

Confessions complete. I feel better already. :)