A couple years ago, I wrote a weekly series on this blog called "Mom-ing Through Faith." Every week was a different topic related to mom-ing and wife-ing and friend-ing and living as a momma with faith. I loved it - writing it, sharing it, reading the comments, engaging in the discussions that followed. It was awesome. <3 I wanted to bring it back but am also working hard not to pressure myself to do things that cause stress. So, while I am hoping to have these ready to share weekly, it may be that it's every other week, or every few weeks, that these specific posts appear.
That being said, I am feeling lead to bring that series back. And I want to start today.
Over the next few weeks, I want to share some things I learned and loved from the women's conference I attended through my church a couple weekends ago, which was called Made+Known. It was, hands down, the best women's event I have EVER attended. I laughed, I cried, I learned, I sang, I prayed, I soaked in every second, I did not want it to end. I just could not get enough of what was being shared in that space. So, I thought I would use the first few posts of this revitalized series to summarize some of the key points I took away from the conference. Some of what I am writing here is summarized information I took from several speakers who gifted us with their incredible knowledge over the weekend. One such speaker and teacher that weekend was Jess Connolly.
Jess was the invited speaker, who traveled from Charleston to speak to us that weekend. She is about my age (late 30s) and also has four kiddos. She grew up in Charlotte but now lives in Charleston, and she and her husband just planted a new church there. She has several books out and, while I cannot attest to her current publications as I have not yet read them, I have pre-ordered her newest book (set to release in September) and am basically counting down until it comes out, just based on the description of it alone. And how about this title: You Are the Girl for the Job: Daring to Believe the God Who Calls You. Ummmm...I'll take a big side of YES PLEASE. Jess was hilarious and engaging, authentic and vulnerable, honest and direct. I loved every second of her sessions. She, along with our (former) senior pastor's wife, and several other guest speakers, taught us so much over that beautiful weekend.
For this week's post diving back into my "Mom-ing Through Faith" series, I thought I'd start with something that's been heavy on my heart lately: Being authentic. Gulp. Ready? Here we go:
In our current culture, where so much is dictated by social media, authenticity can often get lost in the digital world, I think, for several reasons. For starters, we often showcase our best selves on social media. What was a tantrum not five minutes ago is now a picture-perfect family photo. "Look at that PERFECT family!" we all declare jealously while oogling over the photo. BUT on more than one occasion, I have heard stories of what actually went down versus what was portrayed on social media, and the difference in the REAL vs. the REEL is staggering.
I've seen others who filter and edit themselves or their families or their lives so much on their social media accounts that they no longer look like their actual selves/families/lives. And that is exactly when that devil-made comparison trap works it's hardest to ensnare us. "If only I...[insert area where you insecure]...as well as her." The filtering of social media, and the absence of the REAL in favor of the REEL, can really highlight us voyeuristic viewers' flaws (Raising my hand high here, y'all. This is so me). Which, admittedly, leads me to either sink into an envious hole of comparison or, often worse (and often simultaneously) start judging: Now presiding, the Dishonorable Lindsay Lu, here to think snarky thoughts about others. (Have I ever mentioned I am a big ol' broken sinner in need of some serious Jesus in my life?)
And then there are social media relationships versus real, actual, live relationships. Don't get me wrong: I think social media can be a beautiful venue for relationships to develop or to be maintained. BUT I believe it is real-life, actual, face-to-face human interaction where those relationships can truly grow and flourish. In the rush of our day-to-day lives, it's easy to rely on social media for connection. But I don't believe God intended our connections to take place behind a screen. I think He wants us to gather; to love, support, encourage, share, and just be with one another, in person, not online.
At this point in my life, when 40 is just around the bend, I am absolutely craving real, genuine, authentic relationships. I want to dive in and dig deep. I want to hear about your day but I also want to hear about your heart.
And you know what? Every day, after school (okay, most days, if I'm being honest here. Sometimes I am tired or distracted or think I'm too busy), I ask my kiddos about their days. I want to know their favorite and least favorite parts of the day; I want to know how they made someone else feel happy; if they noticed anyone whose feelings were hurt; if there was anything that upset them; if there was something that made them happy. In short, I don't want the surface talk. I want to know the depths of their days. I want them to be real and authentic with me. And guess what?
God feels the same about me.
He wants me to be real, not reel, with Him. As was so eloquently stated at the conference, Living a life where we can't be real with God is one without authentic joy. In other words? Don't be fake with God. Don't pretend to be someone you're not when you're with Him. Be genuine. Be authentic. He's ready for it. He doesn't need a social media filter showcasing the day's highlight REEL. He wants the REAL.
I was listening to a really powerful podcast by my favorite pastor, Andy Stanley recently (his podcast is called Your Move by Andy Stanley, and it is awesome!), and it changed the way I pray. What I learned from his podcast was reiterated during the women's conference: I need to be REAL in my prayers. God already knows what's in my heart. So I don't need to sugarcoat things with Him. I need to get REAL with Him.
And so, now, I do. If I'm disappointed or angry, if I'm sad or frustrated, if He's not answering my prayers when I want him to, doggone it, I let Him know how I feel. It's not polite and it's not edited. It's raw and it's real. It's authentic and it's genuine. It's vulnerable and it's honest. And I've never felt closer to Him than I do after those chats. God wants us to be authentic. He's reading and waiting for it.
Lastly, two other points that were made with regard to authenticity during the women's conference that I wanted to mention before closing out this post:
Grace is better when we acknowledge that we are known by God. He sees us. He knows us. He knows our good, our bad, and our ugly. So, why try to pretend with Him? Why make surface prayers when He knows what's really in our heart? Why not dig in and dig deep? He sees our flaws and He loves us anyway. Are you ready to get real with God real quick? Make this request: God, tell me what I'm doing wrong. Yikes. That's a tough thing to ask. But who knows, it just may change your life. Because something else I learned during that conference? Things born in hiding cannot thrive.
A REAL, authentic, genuine life is better than a REEL one. I know I'd rather my kiddos share their real thoughts and feelings with me. I'm pretty sure my own Father wants the same of me.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2.
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