When I attended my church's women's conference, Made+Known, last month, there were several messages that spoke straight to my heart. One was about the importance of being real, authentic, genuine, and vulnerable in our relationships, most notably that with God. I wrote more about it HERE.
Another topic that pulled at my heart was about the three necessary relationships we women need in our lives; so, I thought I'd share more about that here. Some of these sentiments came from two speakers from the conference, Lindsey Knuckles and Jess Connolly, who lovingly poured into us that beautiful weekend. A bit about what was shared:
As women, it is important that we connect with other women and maintain three vital, life-giving types of relationships in our lives:
- Someone who pours into us. This is someone who may be a season or two ahead of us in life. It is someone who can speak truth to us and with us, someone who can guide and encourage us, someone who can pray for us. For singles, it may be someone who is married. For the new mom, it may be someone who has a few parenting years under her belt. For the seasoned mom, it may be the even more seasoned mom, whose kids are older.
- Someone who we are pouring into. This is someone who is a season or two behind us. It is someone whom we can speak truth to and with, someone whom we can guide and encourage, someone whom we can pray for. It may be the children or adolescents we lead as their LifeGroup leader. It may be the mom who is a season or two behind us. Etc.
- Someone you are walking through this season of life with. This is someone who may be in the exact same season as us, who knows the good, the bad, the ugly, and the truth behind our days. Who can commiserate with, and encourage, us and vice versa.
I realized that, while I feel pretty solid with the latter two types relationships - I am pouring into precious others and walking through this season of life with trusted others - I did not have a pivotal, Godly, Christian woman pouring into me. I have wanted it for years but there was always an excuse that was easy to use to keep me form seeking it out: "I'm so busy;" "I'm so tired;" "I don't have enough time;" "I can't add anything else to my schedule;" blah, blah, blah. I was justifying myself right out of having a mentor. Even though I desperately needed one, I talked myself out of it. My husband, on the other hand, has had a mentor for years: a man who is a season ahead of us in life, who pours truth into my hub when they meet regularly, every few weeks. I saw their relationshop and admired it, yet didn't seek out my own.
Until the Made+Known conference.
The story of how my mentor and I connected is one that was a sign from God, no doubt. I had been talking to my hub a couple days after the conference and mentioned that I was ready to find a mentor. Without hesitating, he said two names had immediately come to mind that he thought would be great mentors for me, both of whom are very involved in our church and whose husbands my own hub knows. A few hours later, that very same day, I received a Facebook message from someone inquiring about a completely unrelated topic, completely out of the blue. The author of that message? The first name that my hub had suggested as a mentor for me.
We met for coffee two weeks later and will now be meeting regularly. Amazing how God puts all the pieces into place for us. <3
What about you? Do you have a mentor? Do you mentor someone? Do you have trusted friends you are walking through this season of life with? I am happy to pray for you, and with you, that you find any such relationships you seek. Just reach out and let me know. <3
And please hear this, which was also shared during the Made+Known conference:
The enemy works to isolate us from community. He wants us alone, isolated, lonely. And sometimes, he succeeds. Sometimes, we refrain from connecting, instead isolating ourselves from the world, from others, from authentic relationships, from God. Maybe this comes due to feelings of insecurity, fears of being left out, being jealous of others' relationships, or falling in the comparison trap. All of those are the enemy at work. Don't let him win.
Just show up. We don't have to show up with the answers. We just have to walk through the door. Be genuine, authentic, and transparent. Step outside of what's easy. And lastly, something that brought tears to my eyes as I thought of what I wanted in my relationships in others at this stage of my life:
Be intentional in being relational, not transactional, in relationships.
This is where life-giving relationships flourish. Just as Spring has now arrived, maybe it's time for new relationships to be planted, too. How can you grow in your relationships today?
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2: 3-5.
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