Monday, May 13, 2013


There are a few things I need to get off my chest. After all, I always want this blog to be a place of truth telling. So. A few confessions I must fess up to:
  • My last two haircuts have been done by the oh-so-talented stylist at...the local children's hair salon. Yep. In fact, my latest cut was just the other day: While Banks sat in his airplane chair next to me getting his "ears lowered," and Raleigh snacked happily on goldfish in her stroller, I sat and had four inches chopped off. You should have seen the side-eyes I got from the other moms who were there, at the children's salon, whose own children had to wait to get their hair cut thanks to my sudden desire to lose some length. Oops! Maybe one day I'll re-visit a grown-up salon. But. For now? Pigtails & Crewcuts it is! 
  • I have been using the exact same eyeliner since my wedding day, almost nine years ago. As in, the exact same container of MAC eye shadow that I use to line my eyes, almost every single day, for the last nine years. This tells me (1) it is amazing I haven't contracted some kind of funky eye disease, and (2) maybe at some point I should change up my make-up routine? 
  • I typically listen to hard core rap when I run. Thank goodness the neighbors can't hear the vulgar language I jam to when trying to please-for-the-love make it up a steep hill.
  • Banks has recently started lying. Straight to my face. Over and over. Insisting he is telling the truth. When I know he is not. So. I have started using what I think is a brilliant tactic a friend of mine (hi Julie S.!), who just so happens to be an elementary school teacher, told me she uses with her students: the lie detector. The secret to this brilliance that inevitably evokes the truth from my little truth-bender? Inform the truth-bender in question that you can tell whether or not he is lying by placing your hand over his heart--that you can detect the lie because his heart tells you when it's lying. What the little truth-bender doesn't know is that when someone lies and is being questioned about it, his heart rate tends to increase as a result of being nervous. So. By simply placing one's hand over the truth-bender's heart, the answer becomes clear. Of course, the truth-bender should not be told that it's the rapid heartbeat that's giving him away. He just needs to know that Momma's lie detector is all-knowing. So...does it work? Well, now, when I even mention that trusty ol' lie detector, the truth inevitably comes out, without me even having to place my hand on a certain 3-year-old's heart. Thanks for the trick, Julie. You are one smart momma. 
  • It makes me feel really uncomfortable when people raise their arms to Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! while singing in church. We go to a contemporary church, which  means rockin', band-accompanied music at the start and end of each sermon. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE the music, and I'll be-bop and sing along with the best of 'em, but when I see someone raising her arms because she is, apparently, so moved by the music and message, it just makes me feel awkward. 
  • I often take two cookies from the free cookie stash in the grocery store when grocery shopping with Raleigh (which is done while Banks is in school each Monday morning). One for her and one for me, although I don't eat mine until I get in the car so I won't get busted by the grocery employees. 
  • I typically look forward to the short car rides I take with my kids when out and about running errands. Now, the hauling of both kids in and out of their seats and in and out of whatever establishment we're visiting...not so much. But the car rides? Yes. Namely, because I know they are both contained in the same spot. And it's is our time to just talk, talk, talk, uninterrupted. However, some days, when I have been peppered with questions like an overly seasoned steak, I insist we play the quiet game. And while I love those conversations I get to have with my kiddos in the car, man is it nice to have a little car-ride-quiet once in awhile. And I'm not gonna lie: One time, the game lasted so long that Banks actually fell asleep. I guess he won that round...
  • I often have to google how to do very basic things: like, earlier today for example, bake a potato. Have I mentioned that I am an oh-so-fabulous chef? I haven't? Hmpf. 
Whew. I feel better already after getting those things off my chest. 

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