Sunday, October 21, 2012

Confession Time

Okay y'all. I just have to know. 

Am I the only one who:

  • Has recorded myself singing using my iPhone to hear what I actually sound like (My opinion: Worse than Mariah but better than Rebecca Black (of the "It's Friday" claim to fame)?
  • Enjoys wrapping gifts (almost) as much as I like giving them?
  • Pictures myself looking way cooler when I run than I actually do (Picture this: Legs pushing back and out to the side with each stride. Picture this: Dorky.)?
  • Envisions myself walking down a runaway anytime I am traipsing down a long hallway (Head Up. Shoulders back. Annnd....Go.)?
  • Will chew the same piece of gum for an entire day (Time for a meal? No problem. Just store the chewed gum on the side of the plate and then pop it back in after the last bite. Mmmm...scrumptious. And cost efficient.)?
  • Has a constant, evolving escape route planned any time I go for a run (You know. In case a dog should suddenly leap over a fence and come barging towards me. No problem. I'll just scale that parked truck and use it to propel myself onto the roof of that house. Problem solved.)?
  • Cannot stand the taste of any condiment on any meal (Hamburger? Plain with a dash of nuthin'. Hot dog? Only the bun, please. French fries? No ketchup is the best ketchup.)?
  • Never feels 100% pulled together (Cute outfit? Check--But oh wait! I forgot my earrings, or to paint my toenails, or to put on lipstick, etc.)?
  • Is extra careful when using objects with retractable cords (I blame my sister for this one after she got a large welt on her face when attempting to put away her iron with a, you guessed it, retractable cord.)?
  • Still forgets whether or not I have already shampooed my hair (even after posting about this on Facebook and attempting to be more cognizant when taking a shower)?
  • Has to draw an imaginary compass in the air and say to myself, "Never Eat Soggy Waffles" (i.e., North, East, South, West) when trying to remember which direction is which (Yes, I am directionally challenged)?

 Surely I'm not the only one. Right?

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